Wasted Days And Wasted Nights!!

Well its been quite a while since i posted something..well in that time frame of 2 weeks alot has been happening...and happened...Well i will begin with "Kirsty"..yes the beloved Kirsty i mentioned in my earlier blogs as the sunshine of my day..and the person who completes me for who i am... Well gone are the days where the only thing that ever crossed my mind was Kirsty,Kirsty and Kirsty...Why?? very simple because she said she's not ready to be in a relationship and so on...i mean i understand that shes till young and all...well but that aint the whole point... A few weeks back i went online on msn and her personal Message was "OMG Im Falling For You"!! now being one of the many people who actually have feelings for her i asked her "Who is The lucky guy"?? me?? she gave me a point blank answer "No..its not You La"!! my heart just sank...well i wouldnt have been so sad because being Melvin i would just be like "Okay Fine Lets Just Move On"..well that aint going to work with this one.... Because You see she did tell me once that she has feelings for me...now that really made me happy and gave me hope that actually one day i would be with her and that im the one she loves..unfortunately we all know that life is not a bed of roses and most of the time it doesnt go your way..and so it didnt go my way...now that really made me upset... I asked her about this and she kept telling me that she was confused and dont know what to actually say...i let her be until a time came where i actually was restless and spend sleepless days and nights thinking of her and what will she say...so i asked her again do you really have feelings for me...she said yes!!!! i asked her then what is holding you back...she kept on saying that she was confused...and at that point of time i was to happy that she actually has feelings for me and i didnt care about the rest until a week after that where she told me she doesnt believe in love..its bullshit it seems!!! Fine i gave her an essay long explaination about it and she straight told me that im wasting my time by waiting..because if i wait i will grow old it seems...and im too good for her and she dont deserve me and stuff...at that point i knew i had to let it go...this wasnt going to work out...but how can i move on when im still love with you.... Wasted Days and wasted nights i have left for you behind for you dont belong to me...why should i keep loving you and why should i call your name when yiur to blame for making me blue...i was lonely praying for you only but somehow it cant just work..something is just keeping us apart.. All i can do is just hope for the best to happen!!